The New Golden Rule
improve communication by learning to recognize the four main personality types...

Most of us are familiar with the proverbial Golden Rule about treating others as we would like to be treated. So why is it, when sometimes we treat others the way we, ourselves would like to be treated, we don't get the response we expect? The answer is simple, everyone has their own nature. In contrast to the idea of treating others as you, yourself would like to be treated, it may be better to think of treating others as they themselves would like to be treated.

One's nature is tied to their personality type. Did you ever notice how some people just have to be socializing with others? When they go to parties, they will strike up conversation with anyone around them. They'll look forward to long bus trips because they know they'll be buddies with everyone aboard by the end of the trip. That's because they are what can be referred to as "socializers" and in psychology, they are referred to as having a "Sanguine" personality type.

There are four personality types defined in Psychology. Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Melancholy and Choleric.

Phlegmatics are easy going and have a tendency to relate well to others. They generally do not like to offend or cause any conflict. However, because of their laissez faire attitude, they also have a tendency to underachieve and have a tendency to get things done in a slow manner. They also tend to be less direct and do not crave the limelight as much as some of the other personality types. They prefer to watch from the sidelines.

Melancholy people have a tendency to feel emotions very deeply and are generally sensitive, hence the title of Melancholy. They are usually very intellectual well and perform well in school. They also have a tendency to want everything in order, and like to be on time. They love details. Like the Phlegmatics, they too have a tendency to be less direct in communicating their own needs to others. They generally move at a slower, more thoughtful pace than some of the other personalities.

Cholerics are very direct, independent and self sufficient. They like to express themselves concisely and are often considered brassy, but they will get things done and are not afraid to delegate. They have a tendency to dominate and can often be found in leadership positions. They generally don't spend much time worrying about what anyone thinks and don't have time to listen to all the details. They do not like to be treated the way they themselves treat others. (They may be the one's that the Golden Rule was directed toward!) However, because of their ability to think and act quickly, they excel in emergencies.

Sanguines as described above, are the quintessential socializer. They were the popular kids in school who consistently showed up 45 minutes early for school just so they could do what they do best, socialize. If there's a party, they'll be the first to be invited and they'll most likely show up and become the life of the party. They have a tendency to be more direct than the Melancholy's and the Phlegmatics. They usually have a tendency to be casual and are not preoccupied with worry. They truly live in the now, but because of that, they're behavior sometimes seems child like and spontaneous.

With an understanding of what the personality types are, one can begin to recognize certain qualities in people and use that knowledge as an advantage. Keep in mind, most peoples natures float between the different styles, however, there's almost always one dominating type.

communication tips for responding to the different personalities:

CHOLERIC (Direct/Leader): Keep it short, respectful and to the point. Don't guess about facts. Stand your ground. Excellent choice if needing someone to execute a plan.

SANGUINE (Spontaneous/Socializer): Make it fun! Throw in a few funny stories or jokes. Turn into an opportunity to network or socialize. Reminders can be helpful, when it comes to the serious activities. Put in charge of invitations to gatherings of all kinds!

MELANCHOLY (Analytical/Intellectual/Sensitive): Throw in a few extra details. Ok to get philosophical. Keep it respectful, follow through and be on time. Use proper English (or whatever language they speak.) Excellent choice for delegating the job of planning and organizing!

PHLEGMATIC (Easy Going/Relater): Speak in a slower pace with respectful understanding. Don't throw too much out there. Give time to consider. May need reminding. Put in the role of mediator or messenger. Makes a good partner to go on relaxing vacations with.

~By Crystal Achey