IMPROVE COMMUNICATION
Better connecting skills to help you get what you want!
The New Golden Rule
Connecting Skills
Most of us are familiar with the proverbial "Golden Rule" about treating others as we would like to be treated. So why is it, when sometimes we dutifully follow this rule, we fail to get the positive response we expect? The answer is simple, everyone has their own nature. In contrast, begin to treat others as they would like to be treated by recognizing their personality patterns and tailor your communication style to their needs. It's not about changing who you are, but rather how you respond.
Did you ever notice how some people feel compelled to socialize? When they go to parties, they will easily strike up conversations with anyone. They'll look forward to long bus trips because they know they'll be buddies with everyone aboard by the end of the trip. That's because they are, what can be referred to as, "socializers" A.K.A the "Sanguine" personality type.
Personality types can be broken into four main categories:
Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Melancholy and Choleric.
Phlegmatics are easy going and have a tendency to relate well to others. They generally feel uncomfortable in situations where their may be conflict. However, because of their laissez faire attitude, they tendency to underachieve and get things done in a slow manner and more thoughtful manner. They're often the least direct of all the types nor do they crave the limelight. They feel comfortable in supportive situations and prefer to watch from the sidelines. They are good with accepting others and generally do not suffer from stress. Their challenge is to not get run over by the other personality types.
Melancholy people have a tendency to feel emotions very deeply and are generally sensitive, hence their title. They are usually very intellectual and perform well in school. They also have a tendency to want everything in order, and like to be on time. They love details and organization. Like the Phlegmatics, they too have a tendency to be less direct in communicating their own needs to others and generally move at a slower, more thoughtful pace than some of the other personalities would prefer. Their challenge is accepting others and dealing with their own emotions sensitive natures.
Cholerics are very direct, independent and self sufficient. They express their objections and needs without delay and are often considered brassy, but they will get things done and are not afraid to delegate and feel very comfortable doing so. They do have a tendency to dominate, but this makes them easily fall into positions of leadership. They generally don't spend much time worrying about what anyone thinks and don't have time to listen to all the details. They do not like to be treated the way they themselves treat others. (They may be the one's that the Golden Rule was directed toward!) However, because of their ability to think and act quickly, they excel in emergencies. Their challenge is to be more accepting of others and take time to sit still.
Sanguines are the quintessential socializers. They were the popular kids in school who consistently showed up 45 minutes early for school just so they could do what they do best, connect with others and have fun doing it! If there's a gathering, they'll be the first to be invited because they're always the life of the party. They have a tendency to be more direct than the Melancholy's and the Phlegmatics. In the workplace their approach is usually casual and like the Cholerics, are not usually preoccupied with worry. They truly live in the spontaneous now, which often gives others the impression that they are immature and lack sophistication, but this is easy to overlook as they are often so lovable. Their challenge is to focus and take things more seriously.
With an understanding of what the personality types are, you can begin to recognize the various styles in others and use that knowledge to encourage improved relations in business and networking situations, as well as in social settings and family life. Most people are generally a blend of types but however, there's almost always one recognizable dominating personality. Begin paying attention to these tendencies in order to improve how you communicate.
Communication Tips:
Responding to different personalities
CHOLERIC (Direct/Leader): If your natural tendency is to speak slowly and with a lot of detail, practice keeping it short, respectful and to the point... Don't guess about facts... Stand your ground without taking offense to their directness... Excellent choice if needing someone to execute a plan, handle emergencies or in human resources postitions.
SANGUINE (Spontaneous/Socializer): Make it fun! Throw in a few funny stories or jokes... Turn your association with this person into an opportunity to network or socialize... Reminders can be helpful, when it comes to serious activities... Put in charge of invitations to gatherings of all kinds! They work well in sales and front line marketing positions.
MELANCHOLY (Analytical/Intellectual/Sensitive): Throw in a few extra details... and quote a philosopher or drop names, books or research resources... Pay closer attention to polite behavior... Follow through and be on time... Use proper English... Choose this person for planning and organizing.
PHLEGMATIC (Easy Going/Relater): Speak in a slower pace with respectful understanding... Don't throw too much information at them... Give them time to consider answers while conversing... Reminders and questions are helpful... Because of their cooperative, accepting tendencies, they make excellent instructors, advisors, mediators & messengers.
Written by Crystal Achey
